Originally appeared on E! Online
For Sandra Oh, “Grey’s Anatomy” helped her learn what it takes to be your own person.
The actress reflected on her 10-season tenure as Cristina Yang on the long-running ABC medical drama, calling it “one of the most challenging decades” of her life despite the show bringing her “financial stability, fame and privilege.”
“When I started ‘Grey’s,’ I was in my early 30s, so I had an idea of who I was and what the work entailed, but I had no idea what was coming,” she recounted to Dartmouth College’s graduating class in a June 15 commencement speech. “I demanded a lot from myself and from the writers.”
“If something bothered me in a script, I would fight for what I believed what was right for the character of Cristina because I felt responsible for her,” she continued. “And while this contributed to the creation of a memorable character, my desire to make the dialogue fit and my belief that I knew what was best for the character also caused grief for the writers and for me.”
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The 53-year-old said there was even a “dedicated” staffer who was tasked to “deal with me” about the story changes. But it all came to a head on season six, when she and the writers were “at an impasse” over a line in the script.
“I had to have a call with the big boss,” she shared, referring to “Grey’s Anatomy” creator Shonda Rhimes. “I’ll never forget, she said to me, ‘Sandra, we have been here before. You got to trust me. Something will come through if you just say the damn words.'”
According to Oh, those words opened her eyes to a whole new way of navigating life’s difficulties.
“The discomfort didn’t go away, but my relationship to it began to change,” she explained. “When I stopped trying to bend things to my will and stayed open to my discomfort, a new thing came through — something that wasn’t just mine or just the writers, but something richer that gave me a deeper understanding of myself as the character, as an actor and as a collaborator.”
And for the Emmy winner, “Nothing has taught me more than being with discomfort.”
“It can be our greatest learning opportunity, and it is also inevitable,” she told graduates. “If you can train yourself not to turn away but to learn how to be with your discomfort and trust that it might be telling you something you don’t yet know, it can help you develop an inner strength that will enable you to face the challenges life presents you without losing your values or your sense of self along the way.”
Referencing her character’s iconic line, Oh added, “When the world gets hard, or when it’s good — especially when it’s good like today — by yourself, with people you love, with strangers, always take the time to dance it out.”
