Originally appeared on E! Online
Content warning: This story discusses eating disorders.
Victoria Beckham is getting honest about the pressure she’s faced to be thin.
The Spice Girls star — who shares kids Brooklyn Beckham, 26, Romeo Beckman, 23, Cruz Beckham, 20, and Harper Beckham, 14, with husband David Beckham — admitted that the constant comments on her body throughout the years have led to unhealthy habits and negatively affected her mental and physical health.
“I was weighed on national television when Brooklyn was 6 months old,” Victoria reflected in her new Netflix docuseries, which premiered Oct. 9. “We laugh about it, we joked about it…but I was really, really young, and that hurts.”
For Victoria, who was just 25 years old at the time, the expectation to uphold the ’90s pop star body type took a toll as she got older.
“I really started to doubt myself and not like myself, because I let it affect me,” the now 51-year-old shared on “Victoria Beckham.” “I didn’t know what I saw when I looked in the mirror — you lose all sense of reality. I was just very critical of myself. I didn’t like what I saw.”
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And the public’s name-calling was particularly harmful, as Victoria noted, “I’ve been everything from Porky Posh to Skinny Posh. It’s been a lot and that’s hard.”
The scrutiny led her to develop an eating disorder, which she said she struggled with in silence.
“I was controlling [my weight] in an incredibly unhealthy way,” she said. “When you have an eating disorder, you become very good at lying. And I was never honest about it with my parents. I never talked about it publicly. It really affects you when you’re being told constantly you’re not good enough.”
And even today, Victoria shared that the feeling never seems to go away, adding, “I suppose that’s been with me my whole life.”
PHOTOSESC: Victoria Beckham, Style Evolution, 2007
