A restaurant server is sharing the worst ways parents misbehave at restaurants.
“The phrase, ‘The customer is always right’ is dying out,” Alana Fineman, a comedian and server in Southern California who posts restaurant skits on TikTok, tells TODAY.com.
Dining out with young kids is draining, between picky eaters, spilled food, whining and restless wanderers. Fortunately, kid-friendly restaurants are equipped with coloring activities, playful decorations and the swift delivery of kids’ meals to quell complaints.
Sometimes, it’s parents — not their children — who misbehave.
“Servers don’t want to shame families or discourage them from going out to eat,” says Fineman. “Parents are usually … trying their best.”
Here are five mistakes families most often make at restaurants, according to this server.
Leave a Mess for Employees to Clean
Kids make messes and that’s part of the experience, according to Fineman.
“It’s one thing when a baby throws food from his high chair — it’s another when kids rip open sugar packets and dump them on the floor or finger-paint with ketchup on the walls,” says Fineman.
“That usually means that a parent is not paying attention or allowing it to happen,” she adds.
Big messes are typically cleaned by bussers, whom Fineman calls one of the “hardest-working” employees in her field.
“If someone vomits, it’s the busser who cleans it up,” she explains.
Allow Children to Run Amok
“Kids shouldn’t run through a restaurant — it’s not a McDonald’s PlayPlace,” says Fineman.
Most restaurants lack appropriate spaces for children to cut loose, says Fineman. A high-speed collision with a server can cause broken glass, fallen food, delayed orders and injuries.
“If you’re carrying a tray of five martinis or plates of boiling-hot food and a child runs in front of you, you can drop it on the floor or onto a person,” she says.
Fineman recalls a hazardous incident at her restaurant.
“Kids in a party of 10 were running around,” she says. “They climbed over a fence and onto the street, where they threw rocks onto the dining patio.”
While no one was struck, the children were lectured by an employee, who Fineman says, “Did the parenting.”
Include Servers in a ‘Teachable Moment’
“Kids get to a certain age when they can order their own food and the parents will say, ‘Tell the lady what you want,’” says Fineman. She finds most of this banter “funny and endearing,” but if the child won’t speak up, the server now has a parenting problem.
Fineman says gentle prompts from a parent is usually encouraging enough, however, “Every so often, a parent says, ‘We’re not moving on until you learn to order.’”
“I can’t always be a part of it when I’m really busy,” says Fineman.
Make Demands for Picky Eaters
Picky eaters are usually not a problem for servers — unless parents have big expectations.
Fineman says some parents get “irate” with restricted menus or if chefs cannot produce a specific meal, due to limited ingredients.
“If it’s a slow day, they might be able to … but not every time,” says Fineman. “There needs to be a contingency plan for what your child can eat.”
Fineman proposes that parents plan for kids with dietary preferences by reading the digital menu before coming in.
Forget That Children Count as Dining Guests
Fineman points to a “fascinating phenomenon” wherein parents don’t necessarily mention when children are included in a reservation.
Maybe they hope to sidestep the automatic gratuities that some restaurants apply to larger parties, says Fineman, but most don’t realize that children count as guests, even when they require high chairs, which take the same space as a chair.
The miscommunication is more of a problem on busier days, when families may have to wait longer for a sizable table.
“There can be an unfortunate domino effect in the restaurant industry,” says Fineman, adding, “Miscalculating three people can affect the next 45 minutes.”
Fineman says parents can rectify this by notifying the restaurant when their party size changes, even by one child.
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