For 28 years, Dave Gervase and I have gone through life hand in hand: We’ve traveled the world, we’ve been caregivers to numerous family and friends.
Together, we’ve navigated good times and bad. Now, we’re feeling our way through the unknown, after my Parkinson’s diagnosis.
For this segment, I asked our friend Tom Runyan to conduct this interview. He’s been on this journey with us.
“What are some of your biggest fears as you’re moving forward now?” Runyan asked my husband.
“I don’t have a fear of what we’re facing together, and I certainly don’t have a fear of what I might have to do to take care of him because I’ll do whatever I have to do to take care of him,” he said.
It’s weird for me to think that one day, Dave will likely be my caregiver.
“No one wants to think of themselves as needing help for daily things, for putting your clothes on, for going to the bathroom, for taking a shower,” he continued. “So when I think about that, it does bother me.”
While neither of us faces the future with fear, we are preparing. We sold our home of 27 years and bought a condo. We’re doing a total renovation, with Parkinson’s in mind.
“Obviously we did this to make our lives easier and just less complicated and simple as possible, but we also did things like widen doors, just in case down the road there’s ever a wheelchair, made sure that the bathrooms are ADA accessible,” Dave explained.
We’ve also made honest and blunt communication a priority.
“I think the biggest thing that we have committed to each other is to be brutally honest with each other,” Dave said. “If we’re feeling something, talk about it. We’ve gone through other things where we were scared and didn’t talk about it. And that really plays with your mind.”
We hope that by educating ourselves, a good attitude, with a healthy dose of love and understanding, will prepare us for whatever lies ahead.
“So if you could say one thing to Ted right now in the present where you are, what would that be?” Tom asked Dave, “Just hold my hand, we’ve got this,” Dave said. “That’s all that matters.”
“Do I want to alter someone’s life because of a change in mine?” he continued. “No one wants to do that, but I know that if that day comes, I have someone in my corner who’s a fierce advocate who loves me and will hold my hand.”
