CBS News Miami spoke to Jeff Lee, a devoted caregiver who has spent the last several years caring for his longtime partner, Roger Miller, after Roger was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 2015.
Their story, rooted in love and resilience, began more than three decades ago in Miami and has since become a powerful testament to the strength and sacrifices of caregivers everywhere.
Jeff and Roger’s story began in Miami 34 years ago when they met through church while working at neighboring hospitals—Jeff a nurse at the VA, Roger a chaplain next door at Jackson Memorial.
“We agreed to meet and went to lunch at Hardee’s in downtown Miami, so we had our first meeting at Hardee’s,” laughed Jeff Lee.
Since then they’ve traveled the world together. They’ve loved, laughed and faced challenges side by side for decades. Then in 2015—perhaps their biggest challenge—Roger was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.
“I was noticing changes in behavior, changes in being able to hold things tightly—I’d drop things. Changes in my voice,” Roger said.
The demands of daily caregiving
Both of their lives changed dramatically in just a few years.
Now Jeff’s day, every day and night, is consumed with taking care of Roger. That means four times a day giving him his Parkinson’s meds on time—on a strict schedule.
“If he gets too far off that schedule, his symptoms—tremor, drooling—those symptoms get much worse,” Jeff explained.
And at times, there’s more.
“He has a lot of drooling and you have clothes and at night he has overactive bladder. So you’re up all night dealing with the overactive bladder,” Jeff said.
And one of the biggest worries—Roger falls—breaking his hip for the first time in October.
“You’re totally constrained with everything you do because you really have to be responsive to the needs of the individual. And you have to put your needs second,” Jeff noted.
It’s a 24/7 job.
“There’s no sleeping late because you have to have food for him ready to eat so he can take his medicine at 8 o’clock. You have to do blood pressure checks,” Jeff said.
Jeff is by no stretch complaining. He’s describing life as a caregiver—and it’s not always easy.
“I’ve always been a self-care person. I used to go to the gym. Can’t do that anymore,” he said.
Walking the dog for 15 minutes is a chance for Jeff to carve out some time for himself. Self-care is very limited.
“Once I get him in bed at night, my relaxation time is just laying down in bed using my iPad—that’s about it,” Jeff said.
So why do it?
“It’s a struggle. But you understand that’s part of living, part of loving, part of caring, part of giving.”
— Please join us Saturday night at 7:30 for our special, “Living with Parkinson’s: Caring for the Caregivers” and see the solutions we found.
